Catcher and the Rye: Chapter 5

I thought chapter five was by far the most beautiful chapter in this book so far. I already liked Holden as a person just because I found his way of thinking so funny, and relate-able, but after reading chapter five it made me love him so much more. We are all made up of experiences. Each and every one of us act the way that we do because of the events and people that we have come across in our life. I knew that there were reasons on why Holden acted the way that he did. When you have people who're so angry and depressed, constantly hating the world and poking fun, it's often because they have their own issues, or their own griefs that they're dealing with, or haven't dealt with. I think Allie's death is only one of the things that Holden hasn't dealt with. I think that's part of the reason why JD choose to write the story the way that he did.

One possible explanation on why his writing style tends to jump around so much, or in a story sense of terms, why Holden is always losing focus on the story at hand is because it could be an analogy on how Holden deals with things. He has a lot of things that he's buried down so deep within himself that he just keeps avoiding, so he's constantly trying to distract himself. Constantly switching subjects to avoid painful thoughts, memories, or feelings. That might be why he switches back and forth from being an adult one second, and being an immature child the next. When you're an adult you have more responsibilities. You're required to deal with all of your problems, no one's going to fix it for you. But when you're a child, the world is your playground. Nothing is that serious, and you don't typically have that tough of issues to deal with.

During Chapter five there's even proof of my theory. Through out the whole time that Holden is talking about Allie he doesn't get off topic. It's beautifully written, staying on one subject, and you can feel yourself opening up along with Holden. But, right after he's done he's back to avoiding tough subjects. Like when he was discussing the night that he broke his hand in the garage, he wanders from his story and says, "I mean- but outside of that I don't care much. I mean I'm not going to be a goddam surgeon or violinist or anything anyway." (pg 39.)

It was very easy for me to relate with Holden because I know exactly where he was coming from. I myself have also lost someone that I cared about deeply. Around ten years ago I lost my grandpa. He meant the world to me. He was one of those people who made me feel like I was actually important. I would go to his house a lot, because when I was younger, it was just me and my mom, and she had to go to school at night and work during the day so when I wasn't at school, I was at my grandparents house. Everyday my grandpa would pick me up from school and take me to get a slice of casey's pizza or to get some kind of special treat after school before we went back to his house. That was such a huge deal to me. My grandpa was also a tough kind of guy. He was the guy who kept everyone together. My mom and dad at the time were going through another one of their splits, and she had just kicked him out again. When my grandpa was alive it was never as dramatic as it got to be later on. He never let anyone hurt us, mentally, physically, or emotionally. He always gave off that safe, calming presence. He died because of an error that was made at the hospital he was seeking treatment at for his cancer. They forgot to check the chart when he went into surgery to remove his feeding tube, to see when the last time that he was fed. They accidently cut into the tube and the feeding material flooded into his lungs and he passed away. I was only seven at the time that he died. When my mom came and told me I ran straight into the bathroom, locked the door, and laid their for hours just sobbing. He took that safe, happy feeling that he gave with him when he left. After he died everything just kind of went to hell. He had been my grandma's high school sweetheart, the only boyfriend she had ever had. She didn't deal with his death well. She moved in with us, and didn't move or speak for months. My dad and my mom's fighting worsened, and that left me to take care and be strong for both me and my little sister. I didn't really have any adults left in my life, because they were all busy dealing with their own problems which didn't leave much for me. It forced me to grow up really quickly. I still never feel as safe, or as happy without him. I think about my grandpa every day, and I miss him more than I could put into words.

You never forget people like that. You never forget the ones who really leave an impact on your life. I could tell you every inch of my grandpa's workshop. So I can relate to Holden being able to describe Allie's mit. The mit was apart of Allie, and Allie was apart of Holden, so it will forever be with him.